Lost Syd – Ode to Syd Barrett

Sad eyes filled with sea
disarrayed hair that always spoke to me
a husky voice – all those cigarettes,
the scratchy beard, the daring bets

Where is that chilled campari dear?
Or that sultry look behind your fear
If dreams had lips with which to weep
they’d dribble darkness and go to sleep

That willowy feyness clamoured for more
no strength, no breath for a last encore
naked and cold, I give you my back
you know what I need, you know what I lack

Time is cruel, ripping and mindless
the merciless wind is crippling and sightless
Give me the musk of those deserted years
take back the emptiness, take back the tears

Where are those arms, terrified and wild
Where is your wrath, hollow like a child’s?
Only the blues remain, mumbling, leering,
behind the clapping, beneath the cheering.

Stubborn

Sometimes, people just don’t want to be loved.

They simply believe they do not deserve it. The journey has been so long, the road has been so hard, they have received so many jostles and kicks in their face along the road, and they think that it’s just not worth it any more.

Why try reassuring yourself that everything will get better, when all those other times it did not?

How can you believe someone really cares for you this time, when all those other people did not?

All those sharp scissors shining in the darkness. You are so tired of trying to grasp at each distant flickering light, only for it to cut you.

Licking the sweet hot blood and then leaving. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

BUT

When the blood tastes of your dreams, and the laughter sobs into nothingness, it’s time for the clock to stop ticking. Time for the axe to stop grinding. It’s time to put your foot down and say ‘YES’… the ultimate prayer. Acceptance, relief, peace.

YES this is what I want. And this is what I will fight for.