A Rant about Expectations

‘A man will always promise more than he can really do, to a woman he does not understand’- so writes Philippa Gregory in the introduction to ‘The White Queen’, describing not just King Henry VII, but, in reality, all men.

And what man understands any woman? No – such a being does not exist. Are all men therefore doomed to break their word? Looking back at past experiences, I am sorry to say that I think it’s true. All men end up breaking their word, because all men tend to promise more than they can realistically give, to a woman they love or one they want to bed, or one they want to impress. They promise and promise and promise, and I believe they do mean to stay true to their word, at least when they give it. However, reality is different, it intrudes upon you, and what one promises one day, could be very hard to do the next. Most men, unfortunately, take the easy path instead of the hard one, telling themselves that they will do better by you next time, and that in any case, you will never discover that they have not kept their word ‘just this once”.

Or am I being too pessimistic? Is Philippa Gregory wrong? Am I putting all men in one basket too easily?

Or are all women doomed always to search for that one man who will not break his word, just as men are always doomed to strive to keep their word, with no success?

Is the fault in men, who should not promise what they cannot give? Or with women, who take everything at face value?

And then I ask myself, is expecting someone to be truthful so unrealistic after all? It’s not as if you are putting someone ‘on a pedestal’ just because you suppose they will keep their word, as they should, is it?

In the end, should we just endure the inevitable then, and just… accept it and move on each time?