Between Happiness and Doom

I’m not going to write paragraphs and paragraphs about how sorry I am that I haven’t written in ages. To be honest, I am not sorry. This is because, literally, I was too busy living to write during the last couple of months. To sum it all up:

  1. Me and my bf bought a new house.
  2. We re-painted said house, re-arranged the electricity and plumbing. Fought with said plumbers and electricians over issues, problems, mismanagement and parts to be bought and exchanged.
  3. We bought furniture, fought with furniture stores when the orders did not turn up, ran after stores when furniture turned up with missing parts, arranged the furniture to our liking.
  4. We spent money and wailed about it.
  5. Finally we packed all our stuff and moved in, discovering more problems as we went along.
  6. After all this, breathless and wrung-out, we went on a ten-day holiday trip to Wales (which was splendid btw) BUT
  7. Left us completely tired-out again. After which we
  8. Re-started chasing more stores about more furniture… realizing that for the next year or so, this would be an ongoing thing… *sigh*

And more or less, that’s it.

Much more ‘more’ than ‘less’ really lol.

Anyways, totally went off writing for a bit. Strange as that may sound. I was to tired. Too colourless. Too weak. Etc.

So here we are. I promised not to write paragraphs about why I haven’t written lately, and yet I did. Kind of. Hehe.

BUT when I find myself cozily sipping some tea on my new L-shaped sofa in front of our new 55″ screen TV, watching ‘Downton Abbey’ while my one and only hugs and tugs at me playfully (and no I’m not talking about my dog here lol), seriously, I ask myself, ‘Could it get any better?’ And the answer is totally NO, it can’t.

I just hope nothing happens to spoil this. I’m finally happy, blissfully and exceptionally so. And in that moment of realization, a tiny kernel of terror always spirals in my stomach, telling me that once everything is perfect, the only direction one can go is down, and that it won’t last.

Is it my emotional scars tugging at me once more? Or just, a feeling propheticizing some immentionable doom? Thing is, if I continue to be afraid that I will loose this, I will never really enjoy it. Never savour the moment. Never fully taste my dreams coming true. I try to let it go.

And yet, I can’t.

Southern-Gothic-picture

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For the Bored… and the curious ;-p

Years ago, back when I first started working in an office, I was hooked on personal surveys and questionnaires. Basically I would look out for and search different ones, fill them up, then send them to all my friends for them to fill up and send them on in turn. Irritating huh? Whatever, I was bored ;p

Anyways, just came up across one in a blog I’m following, and I got backlashed by so many memories, i just had to fill it in. Will you? ;p

50 questions 50 answers.

Work clothes – black trousers and red jumper with a red and black scarf

2: Ever been in love? Yes

3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Yes

4: How tall are you? Around 5’5/6 i think

5: How much do you weigh? no idea… i try not to look at the scales

6: Any tattoos? yes, 3… and more to come!

7: Any piercings? 5 in my right ear, one in the left

8: Ever done an operation? Yes laser surgery, and partial toe nail removal

9: Favorite show? there are too many, don’t think i actually have one fav

10: Favorite bands? Evanescence, Within Temptation, Nightwish, Kamelot, and many other Gothic, Melodic and Harmonic Metal bands

eva

11: Something you miss? right now… bed

12: Favorite song? JMy Immortal – Evanescence

13: How old are you? 29

14: Zodiac sign? Saggitarius

15: Qualities you look for most in a partner? honesty, trustworthiness, intelligence and kindness

16: Favorite Quote? The fight is not over until you have won it – Robin Hobb

17: Favorite actor? Johnny Depp

18: Favorite color? Black and/or dark red

19: Loud music or soft?depends on my mood

20: Where do you go when you’re sad? To bed or near the sea

21: How long does it take you to shower? Around 10 mins

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 15 to 30 mins

23: Ever been in a physical fight? yes though not by choice

24: Turn on? Black leather and long hair

25: Turn off? Arrogance and stupidity

26: The reason I made this blog? To write more

27: Fears? Getting pregnant, being trapped, heights

28: Last thing that made you cry? Dont remember

29: Last time you said you loved someone? Last night

30: Meaning behind your blog Name? ‘Moonsong’ has always been my screen name and ‘Darkly Dreaming’ is inspired by the first novel in the ‘Dexter’ series

dex

31: Last book you read? The Born Queen – Greg Keyes

32: The book you’re currently reading? Since I finished the last one this morning, nothing yet ;p

33: Last show you watched? One Foot in the Grave

34: Last person you talked to? A collegue

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? my bf

36: Favorite food? pizza and tortellini with white sauce

Ricotta Tortellini with white sauce

37: Place you want to visit? there are so many! the whole world!!

38: Last place you were? home

39: Do you have a crush? I have a love ;p

41: Last time you were insulted? weekend before last -.-

42: Favorite flavor of sweet? orange

43: What instruments do you play? used to play piano a bit

44: Favorite piece of jewelry? my pentacle silver ring

45: Last sport you played? volleyball at school lol

46: Last song you sang? something yesterday while i showered, dont remember what

47: Favorite chat up line? I don’t like chatup lines, they’re cheesy.

48: Have you ever used it? nope

49: Last time you hung out with anyone? yest with my bf

50: Who should answer these questions next? Everyone who reads them!!

Happy Reading 1