Growing Up

What is fate? If you spend years of your life trying to avoid something, only to have it thrust at you randomly at a turning in the road, does that mean that it was destined in your ‘stars’, or does it simply mean that you suffer from bad luck? Should you struggle, tearing yourself apart in order to escape at all costs, or should you cease swimming against the current, and simply accept it? Would that be defeated resignation, or merely another way of growing up?

Generally we can control most things about our life – our achievements, our relationships, our careers, yet when it comes to certain things like health, colleagues, coincidental disasters, of just bad luck, there is actually nothing we can do. We can react yes, but as far as running away from those things we cannot change, this is simply not possible. I guess that is what growing up means. We have to simply buck up, and face those challenges which life throws at us, even though all we might feel like doing is just turning away and go grab a drink.

Perhaps it is actually these challenges which forge our character, aiding us to evolve into more capable individuals, able not only to pull through when under pressure, but to actually appreciate the things we have, and the people around us, all the more.

After all, how can you ever become a better version of yourself, if your life is always easy? How can you learn to manage and survive using your own abilities, if you always find everything ready on a silver platter? How can you trust yourself to be able to overcome ever tougher decisions and issues next time they come up (because at some point, they will), if you don’t already know you can be a survivor, without needing anyone’s help or using anyone as a crutch to lean on?

People may get older, but not all of them grow up. Some remain selfish little children forever, sulking, having tantrums, and playing copycat instead of learning how to simply be themselves, without any need for social approval or metaphorical pattings on the back. After all, in the game of life, it is only we who can decide whether we have won or lost and no one else. We are our own spectators, and the only approval which matters, is ours.

 

Instagram has changed my Life!!

Around 10 weeks ago, I discovered that that most awesome and picturesque (pun intended) of websites – instagram! Better late than never huh?

So, as of the beginning of November I’ve been having fun taking pics and posting them online. Not only that, Instagram has really made me appreciate the little things in life more, in that now, while in the hunt for possible photos, I see more of the beauty around me and acknowledge it. I was used to taking certain things for granted – for example, I live in a really beautiful country – an island paradise which most people who live in smog-choked cities can only dream of – and yes, I wasn’t appreciating it at all. I’ve been living here my whole life, which is why I was taking it for granted so much I suppose. Thanks to instagram, I am finding more joy and happiness every day, in that I am thankful and proud of where I live more.

Another thing is that I am living more healthily thanks to instagram. Why? Because instagram has become a great way to keep track of my eating habits! In November I started taking photos of the food I was enjoying, and I realized that all this food consisted of heavy fatty pastry – it as too rich and this was of detriment both to my complexion and my weight. This is why  I started a new regime. Now I am focussing more on eating healthy natural foods like fruit, nuts and white meat. I also purchased a number of natural beauty products to enhance my skin. This does not mean that I’ve gone off pastry, etc, completely, but I’ve just decided to cut it out of my diet five days a week, and only enjoy it in moderate amounts on weekends. I have also cut all caffeine from my life, and am now drinking only herbal mixtures. Which is working like magic because I feel more healthy.

And all this because of one website! THANK YOU INSTAGRAM!

By the way, if you want to, you can follow me and my adventures here – https://www.instagram.com/melimoonsong/

Please do!

A New Look!

You’ve probably already noticed, but I’ve spent so much time working on it, that I simply HAD to post something to mark the occasion.

YES! DDM has totally renovated its theme! To tell the truth, I loved the old one to bits, however yesterday I got a tip from a reader that the fact that the layout was white fonts on a black background, made it harder and more tiring for many people to read. He also very helpfully gave me a couple of links about astigmatism, and considering how high the percentage of astigmatic readers is, I could see why a white font on a black background would prove a problem.

At first, I thought about ignoring the whole thing. I mean – I started writing this blog first and foremost to unburden myself, vent a bit, as well as… you know… JUST WRITE. However, thinking about it, I realized that communication is an important part of every writer’s work, so, here I am, giving you a helping hand, and also hoping that as that particular reader said, this new and easier-to-read theme will help to boost the readership of this blog even more. We’ll see in the approximate future, shan’t we?

It took me quite a while to choose a new theme. Apart from the fact that I’m quite a picky person, I DID want my blog to present a totality of the whole at first glance. Meaning that it was important for it to sport Menu titles at the top, and not hidden somewhere or behind a tiny weeny button at the side. Another thing was the actual individuality of the blog – which, I think, is pretty summed up in the ambient header picture, and which I still wanted to feature prominently in the new layout. Widgets were another factor. Not all themes show widgets at the side of the main page. Some of them just dump them at the end, which I can’t stand.

So, I tried, twisted and prodded (free) themes for around two hours until I finally found this one. Still takes some getting used to, but I think it’s pretty ok, isn’t it?

Please, PLEASE do tell me WHAT YOU THINK!!

Three Years – Changes in my Life and the House of Parliament… lol

Three years ago, the Maltese government started building a new House of Parliament in Valletta, our capital city. At the time, I used to work near this new construction and would walk past it twice almost every day. Three years seemed so far away during March 2012, and I used to wonder where I would be when the new House of Parliament was finished in 2015, and what would have changed in my life. It seemed a lifetime away.

Well, here we are. The new Parliament building is finally ready and it will start being used later on this month. So much has changed in my life since the moment it started to be built! I am not even the same person any more! I look back and marvel at the fact that this has been the most productive, important and evolutionary part of my life, and it happened at the same time as this building was being constructed. I wonder if before I die, I will see its destruction as well.

Morbid thoughts aside, in March 2012 I was still a child. Now, I am an adult I guess, but still with a faerie look about me, if you know what I mean 🙂

1. I fought my way to freedom and became independent – in other words, I left the parental jail (or ‘that hellhole’, if you prefer even more honesty), and finally started to live on my own.

2. – I went up the career-ladder – I’ve earned two promotions during the past 3 years. Needless to say, my position at the moment is much better than it was, not to mention my salary.

3. – I found my soul-mate – In March 2012 I was dating someone else, a person who definitely was not my match in many things, and being also aware that we did not actually have a future togather, the relationship was quite pointless. Later on that year however, I met someone whom I was to really click with, and after two years and a half now, we are in the process of buying a place together too. THAT’s a nice jump right!?

4. I got published! – Although I have not totally abandoned the mentality and fear that once a story/poem is out, your heart has lost it forever, at least now I am writing freelance for a local magazine, as well as for a Polish tourist website. So, no I have not published any books yet, but am slowly getting there… I hope!

5. Self-esteem – All these experiences have led me to become a stronger and more determined person. While before I was more conscious of what other people thought of me, and how society viewed me, I am very happy to say that today I literally could not give a damn. Of course, I appreciate the companionship, advice and thoughts of loved ones, but I am not so gullible, naive, and pliant as I once was. I carry myself proudly and am happy of who I am. And whoever does not like it, can bite me 😀

La Disparue

The girl without a face sat in a chair.
The walls, sporting streaks the color of dried blood, leered at her, but she could not see them.
The floor pushed itself up against the soles of her rough-shod feet, but she did not care.
The noise outside was deafening in its lusciously torrid invasion, but she could not hear it.

Colorless, she waited for the Imprinting.
She knew it would happen, because she felt it. She had always known. Inside, where it was dark, and moist, and silent.

The Imprinting would come suddenly and without warning. It would arise from all sides at once. Strangely cruel in its violent obscenity. Change everything forever. Make her forget. The Imprinting would give her a voice – one she could not choose. It would make her see things which were not really there. It would let her hear undiluted sounds of plundered senses and raped thoughts. It would come on its own, no one would force it. It was inevitable.

Blank, she shifted on the hard seat, waiting… and waiting again.

The Imprinting was free; it only cost her wings.

She couldn’t use them inside anyways. She had never gone out of the room.

If it was even a room.

I Read therefore I AM

Each year, goodreads (which is an excellent website for keeping track of what you read, not to mention reading comments and opinions about books) organizes a GOODREADS CHALLENGE in order to promote reading and show readers how to value their reading time more. It’s pretty simple, you go on the website, you click on the challenge link on the homepage, and you just set a target for yourself. For example, my target is to read 50 books by the end of the year.

To be honest, I am kind of ashamed of myself. 50 books??? I used to read a book a day!!! SERIOUSLY, my reading quota is one page per minute! And no I AM NOT JOKING! I m not a bookworm, I’m a book devourer.

Yes, I used to read 1 book a day, and I’m not talking about paltry 200-pagers here, no ‘young adults’ claptrap for me, I’m talking about the 400-600 epic fantasy tomes by the likes of Terry Brooks and Brandon Sanderson. The emphasis, however, is on the USED TO. I USED TO have the time… before I started working full time, before I started living in my own place, and before I got in a serious relationship. Life-wise, these changes are obviously very important for me as an individual, however the VERY UGLY TRUTH is that everything comes at a price, and the price of monetary self-sustenance, freedom, and love, is having less time to read. Before, I used to read a book a day, now I’m fortunate if I can manage a book per week 😦 And I try sooo damn hard too! I read while I’m on the bus, I read during break at work (when I have any), I read while I’m on the toilet, I read before I go to sleep, I read while my bf plays ps4, I read in the car when there are longish drives… and still…

So, to be on the safe side, taking into account evenings out, festivities, holidays abroad (already booked and payed for 2), sickness, etc, and that one year has 52/3 weeks, I set my target to 50 books this year. *sigh* I want to bang my head against the wall whenever I look at that in writing, but there it is.

I wonder, will I manage to surpass that? Am I being too pessimistic? I’ve already finished two books since the beginning of the year, but to be honest, the first one was already half done when it started, and the year started with a long weekend too, so I had quite a bit of free time. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe I’ll be posting again about it in 3/4 months saying I had been too hasty in my 50-book bet, and that I had already achieved it. Fingers crossed!!