Runner

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A moment
frozen
crystallized in time
one of a multitude

Icy eyes
what have you seen?
Blue and cold
lost passions, hidden possibilities

A face 
you were smooth
once
before the withering storm

We are all blank canvasses
waiting for life to fill us
waiting to die

The rain falls
carrying with it
all those moments
all those memories

Lost 
once our eyes close
Gone
without an echo

Who are you?
Did anyone ever really know?

© M. A.
29.05.2018

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Are ppl natural Assholes or is it just Instinct?

What’s the difference between someone who cares for you and someone who’s only using you for his self-serving needs?

Have you ever realized that some of your so-called friends only invite you to go out with them when they have no one else? Or perhaps, that certain people only remember to ask you if you want to meet up when they don’t have a lift? I bet this has happened to anyone.

As I have grown older, I have come to realize more and more how people in general use others. It might be that they are not even aware of it. Maybe they are doing it subconsciously. And yet, magically, as soon as they break up or as soon as their best friend is in a new relationship – there they are again, messaging you to ask what you’re doing during the weekend, or asking whether you’d like to come over for a glass of wine. Sounds familiar?

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And so I ask myself – is everyone really that self-serving? How can one know whether a particular person likes you for YOU, because they enjoy your company – or whether they just need someone, anyone, just to assuage their loneliness or feelings of low self-esteem? Maybe they just want an audience.

And then, suddenly, perhaps it’s you who needs them once in a while – perhaps you are sick, or just down – and what happens? They don’t even bother to ask you what’s wrong, let alone actually care. The only thing they notice is that you’re not there to listen to them anymore, without ever wondering if, for once, it’s you who needs a listening ear or a helping hand. Talk about one-sided.

Or maybe, you might be thinking, I might be too cynical… maybe I just know all the wrong people… right? Thing is, have I known all the wrong people for all the years of my life?

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Maybe it’s just survival instinct. In the end – people are mammals. Our key instinct is to reproduce in order to propagate our genes. And no this has nothing to do with maternal or paternal instinct – of which I have none. It’s simple genetic programming which is found in everyone. Our genes and bodies want to copulate in order for them to propagate. On the other hand, it is our brains which govern our actions. Therefore in my case, I have decided I DO NOT want children. I never wanted children, not even when I was a child myself. Lol so much for maternal instinct.

Anyways, as I was saying, our bodies and genes are programmed to procreate – meaning that they are programmed to feel the need for a mate. That need is what, willy nilly, spurns us on to go out, meet new people, and see if we can click with any of them. It is this sense of survival perhaps, which kicks in when people start using others, in order to get a lift, or to have company, or to hang on to.

Or is it?

Have I lost my faith in humanity, or am I merely trying to find an excuse for these ppl? And if so, why on earth should I?

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Me – Invited as a Guest Speaker on a local Radio Program!

Yes! That is the surprise news of the day! Are you astonished? Me too!!

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This morning I received a private message from a local radio producer on Facebook. Apparently, he read some of my articles and liked the material, so he invited me as a guest speaker for his radio program this week. The one-hour long talk will be presided over by a presenter and various members of a panel, including a psychologist, a gynie, and various professionals… oh and me!

Thank all the gods, existent and non, that it is a radio program and not a T.V one. I guess if it were, I’d just decline as I’m too shy. As it is, I’m taking part, even though I kind of feel out of place since I’ve never done this kind of thing before. However I also feel flattered and pleased that someone like that wants to hear my opinion on the subject.

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Ah right – the subject. Well, I am NOT going to tell the world WHEN this program will air, nor on which local radio station. This is because the subject is sex – well an aspect of it, and I don’t think I want my work collegues, or my family, to come across me talking about this, as I do not feel comfortable with specifying facts. I have only told my partner and another couple of people, and I hope they will keep it to themselves. I may share more of the experience after the deed is done, since the whole thing will not be available online or even on request, however we shall see how it goes.

Another thing – the program will be aired LIVE. So wish me luck! I really hope I don’t stutter or anything. It WILL be a fun new experience though and I am really excited about it.

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I am aiming at giving generalised comments and not going into any personal details, but in the heat of the discussion… well, who knows?

So, fingers crossed and wish me luck!!

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