Am I being Sexually Harassed?

Where is the line between ‘just a bit of a joke’ and sexual harassment? When are we allowed to finally admit that something is making us feel uncomfortable, or that we feel threatened, without appearing ‘party-poopers’ or ‘milksops’ who do not know ‘how to take a joke’?

Seriously, can someone explain it to me please?

Yesterday, something happened at the office, which made me feel quite uncomfortable and which I did not like one bit. Someone behaved quite inappropriately towards me and the way he talked was also vulgar and out of place. This person works in my same department, however I rarely see him (thankfully), as he is in another building. He is also married and knows I have a partner whom I have a home with. Moreover, his wife herself also works in our same department too! (In a third building). Could this make his flirting and overt sexual advances any more inappropriate!??

Anyways, after this episode, I talked to my director and she kind of said it was quite out of place, but to take no notice of it. Fine. This morning, at 7.30am (I was still half asleep), the same guy came over to my office, he closed the door after him, came right up in my face, and tried to kiss me. Now, how’s that for ‘a joke’?

I was quite firm at that point and even raised my voice a bit, yet he went out slowly after I had signed for something, and continued to talk to me with a weird smile on his face, as though nothing untoward had happened… wow wtf. Is it just me? Am I a stick in the mud? Was it just a joke or does this guy seriously think I would have kissed him??

And before someone points any fingers, no I was not wearing anything skimpy or revealing – NOT THAT THAT GIVES ANYONE THE RIGHT TO TRY TO FEEL ME UP!

Now I’m feeling really uncomfortable. Somewhere where I generally spend 6-9 hours of my time every day no longer feels safe, and this is totally unfair. I don’t want to escalate it because first of all, this guy knows ‘people’ and wont get fired or moved for sure, and secondly because if I said anything, I would be the one appearing in a bad light, because I would be a ‘bitch’ who didn’t know how to ‘take a joke’…

Heh… I just hope this guy does’nt come over to our building again and that I won’t see him again any time soon…

Today I can vote…

Today I can own property. I have the right to decide whom to marry. I have the right to work and earn an income. I have the right to go to school. I have the right to take my own decisions. I have the right to be heard and to make a difference.

It was not always like this.

I wish to thanks all those women without whom this would not be possible. All those women whose struggles throughout the years have made it possible for me to be here, in my comfortable office, writing on my pc, earning a good wage, after having attended university, and looking forward to buying my own house soon.

I would also like to send all my thoughts and love to all those women in other countries, in other cultures, who are still fighting their own struggle. Still being persecuted. Still living a nightmare. Just because of their gender.

Yesterday was Women’s International Day.

If you don’t know why it is so important, please read my article published here, and think again http://www.eve.com.mt/2015/03/08/8th-march-international-womens-day-why-all-the-hatred/

Women = You are a Blatant Disappointment!

http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20150226/local/fifty-shades-of-grey-breaking-local-records.557723

Really? Are most Maltese women as misguided and bereft of any kind of intimacy as all that? This novel/movie is wrong on so many levels that I really don’t know where to start. Let me at least try to scratch the surface:

1. The writing is CRAP. As a book-lover and writer with a Bachelor of Arts (Hons) and a Masters in English Contemporary Literature, I can say this with professional and experienced detachment – it is TURDS ON TOAST, and that’s that.

2. It was originally written as a fan-fic of Twilight… which says it all. Love Twilight? Love soft-porn? Here you got a mixture of the two!

3. It’s not even real BDSM!! And believe me, I know what I’m saying! The novel is about a girl who doesn’t know her cunt from her ass, meeting a ‘pshycologically hurt’, not to mention inept, guy, who thinks he wants to play Master, while all he wants is a girlfriend without the title.

4. It wrongly promotes the idea that people who find BDSM kinky and titillating, like it because they are emotionally disturbed in some way. That they get excited by whips and leather because there is some big dark secret pointing towards neglect or violence in their childhood or youth = WRONG

What does the fact that it is such a big success say about Maltese women and women in general??

1. These women know NOTHING about BDSM.

2. They know nothing about REAL RELATIONSHIPS, or the ups and downs one really encounters when trying to build something permanent with a partner.

3. They are starved for sex.

4. They haven’t got past the ‘I’m a 14-year old gushy gushy oh-so-innocent version of femininity just waiting to be plucked’ stage.

5. They know nothing about literature, realistic plot-lines, characterization and they know NOTHING of the human psyche!

Don’t like my summary? Bite me!

And yes I have obviously read the the book… tried to must be more like it. The cheesiness, and plain stupidity in every page made me want the vomit. Point being – I don’t write about or criticize something I know nothing about, which is why I made the effort. I wasted hours of my life and numbed my brain for THIS.

Fortunately for the ‘author’ (for want of a better word) many people don’t need to numb their brains to accept and ‘love’ this story, since their consciousness seems to be naturally numb already.

My dear Facebook Stalker… I discovered your name!

Yes, even though you blocked me!!

My previous entry on you, which can be found here – https://ddmoonsong.wordpress.com/2015/01/02/letter-to-a-facebook-stalker/, not to mention reporting you to the ‘Maltese Bikers’ community whose logo and name you had used to fake your account, has borne fruit!

In fact, the same day I blogged an entry about you and contacted them, it seems like someone talked to you, coz you deleted the ‘Maltese Bikers’ logo and continued to use that account with no photo attached. Having forgotten everything about your nonsensical and miserably boring existence, I didn’t inquire further in the matter, however yesterday, while perusing my private Facebook message list for other reasons, I noticed that the entries marked ‘Maltese Bikers’ had changed to an actual Maltese name (still with no picture attached)!

No I won’t repeat the name and surname here as I am not that interested in your identity per se, the fact remains that I was right in thinking you were either one of the Administrators of the aforesaid community, or one of its’ members or affiliates, since the message got through so quickly, so much so that you were forced to take off both their logo and their name.

Taking into account the fact that you not only assiduously followed my fb profile, but also my articles on EVE, I have no doubt that you’ve somehow managed to get hold of this blog… and I’m really happy about it too, since it means you are reading this :0)

By the way, next time you create a fake account, I advise you to at least use an International name and picture, as they are less easy to trace than local ones. Lol not only are you a chicken, but you seem to be a stupid one too…

Letter to a Facebook Stalker…

Dear Stalker,

I am really sorry to have offended you by unfriending you yesterday. Thing is I had actually forgotten you were a facebook friend of mine, as ever since you ‘friended’ me for the first time and I asked you who you were, since there was no information and no photos on your profile, and you told me you were an ‘admirer’ who knew where i lived and saw me everyday, I never heard from you again until this week.

To be completely honest, I had probably been in a hurry on that day. I think this is the case because otherwise I would have definitely investigated further into the matter. You see, I do not condone stalkers usually, not even ones who ‘admire’ me and know where I live. So I would have probably limited your access to my personal stuff there and then in normal circumstances.

I periodically ‘spring clean’ my facebook in order to whittle out fake accounts and weirdos, I forgot yours was an actual profile cause the nick name ‘Maltese Bikers’ made me think you were a community or fan page, and not an individual. The fact that you ‘borrowed’ the name of an actual facebook community of bikers, as well as their logo for your profile picture page, must have had something to do with it too.

When you messaged me on New Year’s day, telling me that the facebook poster I had just uploaded, which dealt with religion, did not meet your approval and that, as a writer, I should have researched it better, you were kind enough to provide a link to a private blog belonging to an Icelandic Christian fanatic, waxing lyrical in rude terms about the same facebook poster. I was flattered that you had been so attentive to both my postings of random posters, as well as my articles, since you quoted my freelance work, however puzzled as to who you were. I replied before thinking, and that was my mistake. I should have realized you were nothing more than a coward hiding behind a fake profile and terminated the connection immediately, instead I took the time to thank you for your minute and immediate interest in my goings-on, and tell you that as a writer I did my research, and this is how I knew that personal blogs were not sacrosant in that they are the fallible and personal opinions of individuals, and not known facts.

To conclude dear stalker, after I unfriended you and received yet another private message (a very long one in fact) telling me about how hurt and disappointed you were that I had unfriended you just because you had voiced a polite opinion, I tried to contact you back and give you the actual reason, but found out you had blocked me. Seeing this infinite ironic revelation, I also realized that your facebook ‘name’ had also actually been the copy of an actual community page, using the same logo you had copied as your facebook profile page!

This is why I sent my ‘reply’ to this community page, privately ofc, surmising that you were either one of its members, or that you were using their trademark name and logo without their knowledge, and that therefore informing them about it was the thing to do.

Be it as it may, I’m sure my message went across, one way or another. I hope you enjoyed stalking two years of my life, and seeing me personally around, since you said you did not live far away and that you also know who I am and my name and surname. If you ever grow a pair of nuts, please do tell me who you are.

If, on the other hand, I start receiving strange phone calls where the caller merely breathes or pants, or if I feel someone following me in the street, I may just as well report the whole matter to the authorities.

Have a nice day :0)

Yours truly

Put on your WARPAINT!!

Tomorrow 25th November is the International Day for the elimination of Violence against Women. I never take selfies or participate in cheesy chainletters and stuff, but this is a gesture of awareness for a worthy cause, and one which may actually help by showing people that certain things are just wrong and not acceptable, so in this case I’m making an exception.

If, like me, you want to show you want to FIGHT AGAINST VIOLENCE AND ABUSE, PUT ON YOUR WARPAINT AND SHOW US!!

If you want to know more, goto: http://www.eve.com.mt/events/werefuseviolence/

Also, as I am one of the writers for eve.com, I also wrote an article on Street Harassment to raise awareness of the day. You can find it at: http://www.eve.com.mt/2014/11/24/heyyyyyy-lilly/

I urge you all to subscribe to eve.com which is a very informative and interesting website… after all, you can find articles by yours truly there too!! 😀