Post-Valentine – What is Love?

Having just come back home after a week in Tuscany celebrating Valentine’s with my one and only – I admit to be having some internal thoughts about love at the moment. I don’t usually rant on about relationships online since for me this is a personal subject, and I’m not going to go into details in this post either… however…

Having the time to spend one whole week isolated from the world apart from ‘me and him’, had its advantages. Might I add that we knew no one in Tuscany and had almost no contact at all with ‘the great net’ since we were in a small house in the Tuscan countryside where internet connection was crap lol. To be honest, I found this very restful and very conductive to spending more quality time together.

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Coming back home to ‘civilization’ was like taking a sudden shower of cold water. Backtracking through all the social media tags and chat attempts was tiring, as was the realization that for most people, Valentine’s seems to be either a way of ‘showing off’ in a kind a ‘mine is better than yours attitude’, or else a way of taking a dig at some ex in a ‘look now I have a new partner and he’s much better than you’ yada yada yada… status…

Here we go again…

Seriously, first of all, how can you compare one relationship to another? Yes of course you can compare the difference between the way one partner treated you or communicated with you vs your new partner, BUT the dynamics in each and every relationship is different, as are the targets and needs of each person. Also, if you are still going on obsessively about your ex… are you really in love with your new bf/gf? Hmm…

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And trying to pit your relationship against someone else’s to see whose is ‘best’? Purleaseeee how damn childish. If all you think about is whether you are ‘ahead’ in some game between you and others, than you are not really focusing on your own relationship which should be your priority right? Relationships are not a competition, plus different couples want different things. In this case, you’d better do some introspection and see whether you are REALLY in love with your partner, or whether s/he’s just someone you are with in order to not be single.

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After more than five years meeting almost every day with the same person, comprising almost three years of living together, I can say I am pretty qualified at this point to realize what both me and my bae want from this relationship and what makes us happy. Doing so before the first couple of years is usually impossible, since most couples during that time are still in their ‘honey-moon period’ where they show the best aspect of their characters to each other, and not their WHOLE self, and where lust often blinds them to hard truths. This is why it is so important not to rush into things. Then again, I’ve known couples who were together for ten years, then as soon as they purchased a home and started to live together, broke up within one month (true story). Living day after day together is, I think, an essential part of a relationship, not to mention being a ‘growing up’ period. 

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I am very proud of the way me and my soul mate have grown up and evolved together as a couple. My feelings for my partner have matured and grown with time, as we have faced various adversities and problems together, from the every day stuff like fixing leaky plumbing or facing financial challenges, to the serious issues such as loosing loved ones and health problems. Three years ago, I believed we already knew what we were getting into and that we each knew each other as well as could be, however now, today, I know that wasn’t true, and that a couple cannot be really said to be one unit, until some time has passed and they have truly learnt what it means to share one world together.

Phew that was some rant! This is what comes out of having no internet for seven days! Lol, jokes apart – during this week, I fully realized that I am really happy to be at this point in my life, and that I want nothing more from my love-life, except for it to remain exactly as it is.

Just perfect.

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2014 is over, and what have you done?

So, tomorrow is the last year of 2014, and as the song says ‘What have you done?’

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I don’t expect to remember everything I’ve done this year, what’s worse I don’t think I’ll even remember everything IMPORTANT I’ve done, but let’s at least try ok?

1. January – started to work for an online magazine. At first it was just sporadically but throughout the months I’ve now become one of their top 3 contributors = SUCCESS!!

2. February – Went to Venice to celebrate Valentine’s with my other half. Was amazing 🙂

3. May – Participated for the third year running in the Medieval Mdina event as a Medieval reenactor – FUN!

4. June – Finally had the guts to have the eye laser operation! Bye bye glasses and contact lenses! Eyes are now better than ever! = SELF IMPROVEMENT

5. July – New tattoo! My third one so far and the bigger and most special one, depicting my chosen Goddess, the Lady of the Ravens.

6. August – Celebrated my 2nd year Anniversary with my <3. A love found is a treasure, a love kept is a life-long blessing.

7. September – Went to London on a work-trip and enjoyed it a lot too!

8. October – Went to London on ANOTHER work-trip lol. This time round I even had time to visit Camden Town!

9. November – Met one of my fav contemporary artists in the whole world – LUIS ROYO!! Have pics, his signiture and a painting he did for me too!!

10. December – Went to Southern Ireland for 10 days with my other half. 7 nights in a cottage and 3 in a b&b on the beach. Now, that’s what I would call BLISS.

Hmm… I’ve ‘done’ ok for myself I think ;p

But… much much more is still to come in 2015!!