Michael McIntyre in Malta!

It really happened! Michael McIntyre, the 41-year old British stand-up comedian and actor, finally came to Malta! Reported in 2012 to be the highest-grossing comedian in the world, McIntyre had been a long-time favorite of many Maltese satire and comedy fans, and finally these were pleasantly surprised to learn that yes, their idol was performing in Malta as part of his world tour. The response of the Maltese was impressive.

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Tickets for the comedian’s one and only performance, which was to take place on Saturday 22nd April at the Malta Fairs and Conventions Centre in Ta’ Qali, sold out within a mere 90 minutes of their availability. The response was so great, that another show on Friday 21st April, was later announced to be taking place as well.

Needless be said, I was one of those fortunate fans who managed to see McIntyre live, and boy, he was amazing. One of the things which impressed me was that even though he had been on the island for only one day, the witty and jocose actor had already started forming quite an impression about Malta and the Maltese. And as a real professional, he also joked and talked about his impression of our island during this show. Here are some points he made and which he presented in such a ribald and charming manner as to leave the audience roaring with laughter.

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Maltese Roads

McIntyre told the audience of his surprise when, as soon as he left the airport, his car started to navigate up and down Maltese roads as if he were on a ship in high seas. ‘In Britain’, he said ‘we have a problem because traffic really slows down when there are road-works taking place, as these create obstructions. In Malta, it seems like you have solved this issue, since there are never any road-works at all.’ The snide, yet sincere jab had the audience totally in stitches.

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Traffic

‘It’s astonishing to see how common road-rage is among Maltese drivers. Everyone seems to be in a race, competing against each other. Your island is so small that you shouldn’t be worrying at all – you’re all going to arrive at your destination in a short time anyways!’

Maltese Women

Michael seemed to be totally serious about this one, and we all agreed with him. He said that although he had visited many different countries during his tours, he was still awed at how beautiful most Maltese women were. He also noted that husbands and partners seemed to be very proud of their wives, wanting to introduce them again and again to the same person.

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My article was published on LivingInMalta.com – please go here for the complete version.

The World’s perception of Malta

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of posts on social media criticizing and denigrating tourists and ‘outsiders’ who comment negatively about something which they didn’t like during their visit to Malta. The comments by foreigners are actually nothing we haven’t all heard before from the Maltese themselves. However, while it seems to be okay for the natives to criticize or attack an issue within their borders, it seems to be taboo for outsiders to give their two cents.

How dare a non-Maltese person complain about congested traffic! How dare someone who doesn’t live here write about our fast diminishing countryside! How dare such people talk about the well-apparent littering present on our shores, the obnoxious parkers, or the over-priced food?

Suddenly, it’s like we’ve never heard anyone complain about these issues before. Every Maltese and Gozitan person within shouting distance of a computer rolls up his sleeves, gets out his broken English and even more hideous Maltese orthographic skills, and starts haranguing said tourist to hell and back. Because if you don’t like it here, morru lura min fejn ġejtu (go back where you came from).

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Taking the optimistic approach, it’s somewhat quaint to see how the Maltese mentality works. Jien ngħid li rrid fuq pajjiżi (I’ll say what I like about my country), but as soon as an outsider opens his mouth, we all chum up against him, because our islands are perfect, and no Brit, Italian, American, or Korean tourist has the right to state his opinion, if that opinion is expressing negativity about Malta. And God forbid if the person is of a darker complexion!

Of course, every country has its troubles and nowhere is perfect. However, that doesn’t mean that one can’t express an opinion or point any fingers towards anyone else… does it?

Curious about this state of affairs, I actually surfed the net, read blogs and reviews from tourists, students and even business people who came to Malta. There were both positive and negative comments. I was actually proud to see how many people loved our countryside, our helpful attitude, and our own individuality as a country. On the other hand, I felt kind of ashamed at other issues which came to light. After all, no one can really and truly perceive inconsistencies and flaws more than someone whose perspective isn’t coloured by their love, history, and patriotic feelings towards their country.

Here are some points I noticed which many blogs and comments about the islands had in common:

Tourists love our food – Our special combination of Italian cuisine, meaty recipes and traditional concoctions, not to mention our very fresh fish, fruits and vegetables, are a total hit.

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The sun and heat are terrible – Most people are acclimatised to colder climates than our own, which is why almost all of them feel that they can’t cope with the hot weather on a permanent basis. Honestly, I can’t say I blame them. But Ħeq… x’tagħmel, hux? (What can you do, eh?)

The littering – Most tourists, and especially students, love to enjoy our beautiful beaches. Keeping in mind that most of them live on huge (sometimes landlocked) land masses, this is not surprising. So the amount of littering and the relatively dispassionate and unappreciativelaissez-faire attitude of plenty of locals naturally astounds them. Having seen many such instances myself time and time again, this kind of attitude really gets to me. It’s all very well and good for the authorities to promote cleanliness and environment awareness, but if we, as a people, do not change our attitude, these kind of bad habits will never change either.

Smoking – Malta was the second country within the European Union to introduce the smoking ban. But is this regulation actually enforced? Now be honest, how many pubs, clubs and restaurants have you been to where many people don’t bother going out to smoke and do it right there anyways? Hmm…

Safe Streets – Compared to other countries, Malta is a very safe place. There are minimal levels of crime, and most of these tend to be petty and/or relate to personal issues. That being said, I don’t know if it’s my impression or not, but things seem to be getting pretty heated in Paceville. Previously, many tourists and students used to visit Malta for the nightlife, however in many blogs I’ve perused, these same tourists are now warning people off Paceville, saying that it’s a rowdy place where young aggressive teenagers congregate to get drunk. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of Paceville nights and there’s nothing wrong with having a drink with friends. The rub however is that certain PV-people (let’s call them that) seem to believe that every foreigner is fair game, and won’t take no for an answer, even when said foreigner is accompanied by a partner. The high rise of many Gentlemen’s Clubs isn’t helping the ambience of the place either.

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I chose to mention these five points in particular, but there are many more issues, both good and bad, highlighted in travel blogs and comments about the Maltese Islands. As already said, no country is perfect, and these issues definitely exist in other places too. However as a Maltese native, it is my country which interests me and which I want to shine, which is why I don’t like reading negative comments – both by locals and non-residents – about Malta. Most of all, I hate the fact that these comments are based on truth. So, instead of going into a tirade against these foreigners who criticize our island, wouldn’t it be better to actually do something to improve our standards instead?

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This article of mine was published on EVE.COM at http://www.eve.com.mt/2016/09/27/the-worlds-perception-of-malta/