Letter to a Facebook Stalker…

Dear Stalker,

I am really sorry to have offended you by unfriending you yesterday. Thing is I had actually forgotten you were a facebook friend of mine, as ever since you ‘friended’ me for the first time and I asked you who you were, since there was no information and no photos on your profile, and you told me you were an ‘admirer’ who knew where i lived and saw me everyday, I never heard from you again until this week.

To be completely honest, I had probably been in a hurry on that day. I think this is the case because otherwise I would have definitely investigated further into the matter. You see, I do not condone stalkers usually, not even ones who ‘admire’ me and know where I live. So I would have probably limited your access to my personal stuff there and then in normal circumstances.

I periodically ‘spring clean’ my facebook in order to whittle out fake accounts and weirdos, I forgot yours was an actual profile cause the nick name ‘Maltese Bikers’ made me think you were a community or fan page, and not an individual. The fact that you ‘borrowed’ the name of an actual facebook community of bikers, as well as their logo for your profile picture page, must have had something to do with it too.

stalker3

When you messaged me on New Year’s day, telling me that the facebook poster I had just uploaded, which dealt with religion, did not meet your approval and that, as a writer, I should have researched it better, you were kind enough to provide a link to a private blog belonging to an Icelandic Christian fanatic, waxing lyrical in rude terms about the same facebook poster. I was flattered that you had been so attentive to both my postings of random posters, as well as my articles, since you quoted my freelance work, however puzzled as to who you were. I replied before thinking, and that was my mistake. I should have realized you were nothing more than a coward hiding behind a fake profile and terminated the connection immediately, instead I took the time to thank you for your minute and immediate interest in my goings-on, and tell you that as a writer I did my research, and this is how I knew that personal blogs were not sacrosant in that they are the fallible and personal opinions of individuals, and not known facts.

To conclude dear stalker, after I unfriended you and received yet another private message (a very long one in fact) telling me about how hurt and disappointed you were that I had unfriended you just because you had voiced a polite opinion, I tried to contact you back and give you the actual reason, but found out you had blocked me. Seeing this infinite ironic revelation, I also realized that your facebook ‘name’ had also actually been the copy of an actual community page, using the same logo you had copied as your facebook profile page!

stalker2

This is why I sent my ‘reply’ to this community page, privately ofc, surmising that you were either one of its members, or that you were using their trademark name and logo without their knowledge, and that therefore informing them about it was the thing to do.

Be it as it may, I’m sure my message went across, one way or another. I hope you enjoyed stalking two years of my life, and seeing me personally around, since you said you did not live far away and that you also know who I am and my name and surname. If you ever grow a pair of nuts, please do tell me who you are.

If, on the other hand, I start receiving strange phone calls where the caller merely breathes or pants, or if I feel someone following me in the street, I may just as well report the whole matter to the authorities.

Have a nice day :0)

Yours truly

stalker

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2 comments on “Letter to a Facebook Stalker…

  1. Pingback: My dear Facebook Stalker… I discovered your name! | Darkly Dreaming Moonsong

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