Inflatable Boy goes to the Inflatable School

So, today is one of those days when apart from being a a Couch Potato, I have absolutely no energy or inclination to do or say anything interesting, creative, or otherwise enriching to society in general AT ALL.

That being said, I will just contribute this short comic scene from ‘The Vicar of Dibley’, which I started watching today, before going off for a cup of tea and some more staring at the T.V ;p

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Cutting off puppy’s body parts… NOT cruelty??

This morning I came across an article on a local newspaper which really disgusted me. I mean really, how can certain people be so bloody STUPID and cruel??

The article was about a guy who was fined for cutting off two stray dog’s tails himself, without anesthetic or going to a professional (he didn’t want to spend the money I assume). The puppies were in pain for days without any medication and for no reason except that this guy who decided to ‘adopt’ them (he left them alone in the fields anyway, just took them food from time to time) took it upon himself to do this for no other reason than the ‘trend’. I’m guessing this because what on earth could a dog with his tail intact do wrong? What’s the point in cutting off dog’s tails anyway!?

By the way you can read the article here – http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20141127/local/man-fined-for-cutting-puppies-tails.545891

A tail is part of an animal’s natural body – it helps them keep their balance, run faster, and swat off parasites like flies and gnats – why on earth should a person want to get rid of it? Just for a fashion statement, or to make them look more aggressive? Would you cut off your children’s toes for a fashion statement? I’m guessing not right?

taillessWhat about those who cut off their dogs’ EARS as a fashion statement? I love dogs’ and cats’ ears, especially the tips, they are so soft and fluffy. But some people seem to despise certain bodily parts apparently, so of course, since they belong to ‘just animals’ they feel free to come them off! If ear tips bug you so much, why don’t you cut off your own eh??

Does this look ‘in’ and ‘funky’ to you??

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NOT!!!

And I was really and especially disgusted when I read the comments to said article! People actually said that 800 euros was too harsh and that everyone else was doing it anyways, so why was this poor guy fined? After all he was being kind and ‘adopting’ these dogs right? (Even though he left them alone in a field for days, and they were just newborns!!).

ARE YOU FUDGING KIDDING ME?? It would have been better if he had never set eyes on them for sure! I don’t think that if anyone had a choice about being ‘adopted’ only to have body parts chopped off, they would be happy to do so, do you?! And if everyone else is doing it, then ‘everyone else’ should be fined too!

Clearly there’s a large percentage of people who either like chopping animal body parts (bloody sadists), or actually think animals don’t feel pain or emotions. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

10 Days to Ireland!!

Yes, I started a countdown!! I really can’t wait!

My bf said he just emailed to book somewhere nice to go and dine for my bday while we are there and it re-awakened all the hectic joy and fizzywig madness of my frenzy. I LOVE IRELAND!!!

The countryside, the warmth of the people, the Celtic background, the bright pagan lurking behind a thin veneer of ‘normality’. Each time I hear someone with an Irish accent or that typical thick bass, like melted honey on dark bread, I just want to swoon, shiver and orgasm at the same time.

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Ok – trying to calm myself now. Seriously ;p

So, we are leaving on Saturday 6th and will be there around 6pm and after we grab our luggage, dashing straight to the Academy in Dublin to watch SABATON!! Koorpiklani and Tyr will open for them!! Oh the joy! Ireland + Heavy Metal!!

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For the uninitiated, Sabaton is a Swedish heavy metal band whose lyrical themes are based on war and historical battles. The car’s CD player must be sick of them by now since we’ve played the albums so much. The other two bands are also quite famous – one being a Folk Metal band from Finland and the other having Vikings and Norse gods as their primary subject matter. It will be a night to remember!

I guess by the end of it we’ll be really and truly mashed potatoes. But it will be worth it, and I’ve really no right to complain even one tiny teensy little bit. First of all because it is a part of the most awesome bday present ever, and secondly because the present-giver is going be worse off than me.

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My poor poor cuddly bf has to drive for hours and hours each day (we rented a car to be able to sightsee more), but he says he likes it as it offers him an opportunity to enjoy the country in another way. That will give me time for naps, not to mention reading! Already compiling a small book list (yes for going to Ireland… lol… thank all the Gods I am taking some big luggage).

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The Man I was in Love with… is leaving… – The Farseers at Present

Around eleven years ago I fell in love with someone who did not exist. I fell totally headlong and irrevocably. I knew he was just a figment of someone else’s imagination. I knew he never did and never would exist. But I could not help it.

He was far from perfect. Oh gods yes. He was sly, manipulative, a liar and a murderer. He was also a bastard. Literally.

With him, I battled vicious family members, journeyed through hardships and illnesses, came to understand concepts like love, secrecy and death, and also, with him, I grew up.

During the first trilogy he was first a boy, then an adolescent, and then a young man. In the fourth, fifth and sixth books dedicated to his Six Duchies, he was a man in his prime. Full of regrets, failures, moods, and mistakes. And yet, still, I loved him.

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Now, more than a decade later, Ms Hobb has finally continued the story of FitzChivalry Farseer, in the book ‘Fool’s Assassin’, the first of the Fitz and Fool Trilogy, and suddenly I realised that in the end, he is going to die. I did not understand this just because he is getting older, or because it is ‘inevitable’. After all, this is just a fictitious fantasy novel, and for those who read all about it and know what I’m talking about, he could extend his life indefinitely with The Skill, that is, his hereditary family magic.

No – I know that he is going to die, because the focus of the story is shifting. He is not the sole fallible narrator anymore. He has a flawed daughter – a genius, who like him, we cannot but love and be intrigued by. I am enchanted in getting to know her, and she is still 9 years old in this book! And yet, I am heartbroken. Because as an experienced reader, and a writer myself, I know how the story goes. Slowly, my dear Fitz will recede as a main character, and little Bee will take his place, until finally he will tiptoe out of the plot, and of my life, forever.

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Oh Robin, Robin, why are you doing this to me? Don’t you know that my Fitz had been the foundation of my whole epic fantasy romantic imaginary life? Seriously, it just hit me yesterday, and I’ve been in a daze of depression ever since…

I’m not joking, maybe many think I am, but I am not. I have never found such emotion for someone and I never will, at least the author could have the decency not to kill him off!! Robin you have been my favourite writer ever since I first came across your work, second to none not even at present, and not even to George R R Martin, so WHY, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

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Put on your WARPAINT!!

Tomorrow 25th November is the International Day for the elimination of Violence against Women. I never take selfies or participate in cheesy chainletters and stuff, but this is a gesture of awareness for a worthy cause, and one which may actually help by showing people that certain things are just wrong and not acceptable, so in this case I’m making an exception.

If, like me, you want to show you want to FIGHT AGAINST VIOLENCE AND ABUSE, PUT ON YOUR WARPAINT AND SHOW US!!

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If you want to know more, goto: http://www.eve.com.mt/events/werefuseviolence/

Also, as I am one of the writers for eve.com, I also wrote an article on Street Harassment to raise awareness of the day. You can find it at: http://www.eve.com.mt/2014/11/24/heyyyyyy-lilly/

I urge you all to subscribe to eve.com which is a very informative and interesting website… after all, you can find articles by yours truly there too!! 😀

Tasting the breeze

Sometimes I forget what a beautiful island I live in. Caught in the meandering dance of work, home, love, friends and events, I just forget those sweet silent moments when I can just enjoy a walk in the countryside, smell the scents of nature, and revel in the enchanting atmosphere of earth, sea, sky and sun.

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This weekend, while relaxing at a charming four star hotel, apart from enjoying the pool and jakuzzi, I went for a Saturday stroll with my bf to L-Ahrax tal-Mellieha. This Northern part of Malta, the island I live in, teems with natural life and beauty (that is, when some hunter is not cocking his gun around to show the prowess of his manhood in the productiveness of his murdering some innocent birds).

The warmth of the sun during the beautiful Winter day, the smile of a loved one and the oneness of spirit I could feel with Mother Nature, made the afternoon a complete one.

It is sad that I don’t have the time to indulge in such perfect days more often, but then if I did, maybe they would not be so special.

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Jack Frost – Movie Review

I think this afternoon I just reached the pinnacle of Xmas Slasher funny moments. Seeing a serial killer snowman rape a girl with his carrot nose in a shower… well now I guess I’ve literally seen it all haven’t I? Lol.

As you have probably surmised (at least, I hope you have), this is not Jack Frost the 1998 family movie starring Michael Keaton… oh no lol. This is the 1997 slasher movie where a serial killer, while getting transferred to a facility where he’s going to be executed for his crimes, gets drenched with a mysterious new experimental chemical when the van he is in collides with another one. The murdering maniac gets liquified and disappears in the snow, only to reappear later and start haunting the sheriff who had originally caught him. As usual, the FBI get involved (seeing as how the mysterious chemical was a federal invention in the first place) and try to catch the mysterious new killer while keeping the whole operation hush hush. FBI big boy clashes with the small town sheriff, while people start to get murdered left, right and center, and we realize that the killer has miraculously turned into a snowman, who can liquify and then re-solidify himself into snow, sliding under doors, into cars and other crevices…

JackFrost-004The culminative creativity of the screen writer finds its leeway when the usual couple about to have a shag appear on screen. The guy goes first of course, then the girl decides to take a shower (this, when she knew her brother had been killed a couple of hours earlier… wow talk about a skin-flint)… anyways we realize that her bathwater is actually the snowman! Up he pops and proceeds to bump the life out of her, but not before we realize that some other shagging had been going on… his long orange carrot nose had in fact been missing from his face… and guess where it pops up again?! LOOOOL

Anyways, obviously the good guys finally win the day, as they first burn dear Jack, who re-spawns (from his own vapour no less) and then proceeded to destroy him with anti-freeze, collect the remaining particles and bury them in a number of bottles. The screen grows dark while the mixture of anti-freeze+Jack churns menacingly in its containers.

I already know there’s the second Jack Frost movie, which, as usual, will be more ludicrous and astonishingly cheesy than the first. Can’t wait! :-p

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Bfast Weirdness

Currently at a relaxing weekend break with my other half. After a sumptuous buffet dinner yesterday (felt too tired to go back up to the room after… thank all the gods for lifts), we had ANOTHER buffet, this time a bfast one, this morning. There were fruits of all kinds, cereal, platters of cheeses and hams, yoghurts, English bfast, muffins, cakes, etc, etc…. and my boyfriend took THIS:

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Soup of grapes in strawberry yoghurt! lol ok say it with me WHAT THE FUC…!!

Haha.

I guess I dont have time for more today. Soon off for a hot stone massage, then a picnic on the cliffs, followed by a small nap, and tonight after going to some Pizzeria we are off to watch Wayne Hussey (from The Mission) perform live and afterwards enjoy the after-party with some friends.

Btw, this weekend was my second year anniversary present to the bf. Nice ain’t I? ;p

The Mockingjay – Part 1 – Movie Review – The Good, the Bad, and all the Missing Stuff

I’ve been following this book series long before the movies, and when I realized that they were going to be on the big screen, I was overjoyed. Of course, my joy was tempered by my caution. Many is the novel that was literally raped by the movie industry, its lifeless carcass left to rot miserably in some musty ditch.

Oh yes, if you haven’t realized it yet – I’m what I call a ‘NOVEL PURITAN’, that is, if the movie is different from the novel, I start suffering from stomach acid, and have to spew it forth everywhere.

So, here goes – The lights when dark and the movie began. Katniss, confused and semi-feverish, huddles in a corner muttering to herself about Peeta. Check. Then suddenly we are in the Command Room playing tacticians??? Where are the months when she was delusional and half-crazy with grief and terror? Where is the detailed depiction of life in District 13?! We are not even told what their major industry was, how come they have all those weapons (prominently displayed at one point), how they have survived or what they have been doing? The importance of the influx of ‘new people’ is not even mentioned, nor is the rationing of the food or the boringness and sameness of their almost zombie-like life! Something which will be very important in Part 2… ok no spoilers. Maybe they are going to explain all this in the second part of the movie? Still, the enormous chunk of important info missing right at the beginning just dizzied me.

And what about the training Katniss and Gale had to go through BEFORE even being considered as part of a Mission? What about Katniss’s attitude and hatred towards Haymitch for having betrayed her trust and Peeta? Skip, skip, skip right? All we have are shots and CLOSE UPS of Jennifer Lawrence without make-up (YEAH RIGHT) and with loose hair. Did they receive audience complaints against the braid or what?

the-hunger-games-mockingjay-part-1-teaser-106782And where are Katniss’ friends and prep team? There should be 3 ppl there, not just Effie! A woman who did her make up and her hairdresser as well! But they just dont exist in the movie!! We are just given Hobo-Effie who tries to complain about the hardships in 13 and only manages to say that she misses her wigs!!

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Up comes a stretched version of the real Cressida (i.e as compared to how she’s portrayed in the novel) who is given much more importance than she actually had, just to let us admire Natalie Dormer’s shaved head and pursed lips again and again.

Criticisms apart, even though you may think I hated the movie, I actually loved it. The portrayals of the rebellion were amazing, the CGI was great, and the scene in the bunker when all the bombs are falling and the people are terrified, is quite realistic and put me in mind of the second world war. I’ve been in an underground hospital of the time, and it was really similar. The scene were they bomb the dam in District 8 is magnificent. And what about the portrayal of President Snow by much acclaimed star Donald Sutherland? Wow, he literally could make my hate and admiration at his poise increase just with one twitch of his well-tended eyebrows! What about Julienne Moore as conniving and cold, yet oh so suave president of District 13? What a performance!!

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Even Peeta’s transformation into raving lunatic at the end was shocking and painful – well done Josh Hutcherson.

The only one who stayed emotionless as though frozen in syrupy depression was Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, she’s pretty and has nice lips and hair, but throughout the movie all she does is stare around with a half open mouth and the same expression for three solid hours!! Really?! You moan so much about Peeta and yet your face remains so smooth and lifeless? Even when you are crying? Why don’t you bawl, sniffle and become red in the face like all people who are REALLY depressed, sad and terrified about loosing a loved one do? Did the director tell you to do that or are you another expressionless ninny like Kristen Stewart? GODS NO! We dont need any more of those around for sure! And while the ‘numb’ part may fall in with the novel’s description of Katniss’ condition, she was only like that at first, and didnt continue being a faceless zombie-doll all through the novel!!

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*sigh*

And yet, I still loved the movie. Weird ain’t I? Maybe my imagination rose in to fill the gaps or give new life to the emotionless hero. Who knows? Anyway, I will continue saying what I always say ‘THE BOOK IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE, BETTER THAN THE MOVIE’.

Teacher

Pointy shoes pudgily shining
striking voice never ceasing
Adherent crimson coating
zippered tightly over bulging protuberances
alternating material straining fashionably
dark hair framing fluttering hands
alert eyes smothering rosy cheeks
smart and snapping in their beady intensity
Derailed knowledge offered boringly
in a torrent of surplus torpidity

Faced with a vacant-eyed uninterested audience
in her heart secretly yearning for silence

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